Project 365 - Day 100

Family Night

Family Night = Pizza and a Movie

I always wanted to have a family night, the same day, each week. But obviously that doesn't work out. Between Rob's job, the girls, all of our obligations, and even the pets, we are lucky to spend any time as a family by the end of each day. But tonight, we pulled it off. Pizza (and salad), and Rio.

I got lots of cuddle time with everyone. Now the girls are in bed and I get some more cuddle time with my Snooks:)

Same time next week? ;)



Project 365 - Day 99

Happy Halloween!

I really do love Halloween. Not just the day, the "season". It makes me sad that Halloween is on it's way out, but I do understand it. I understand it for the reasoning of it being too dangerous to go door to door anymore. I love that I am in a place where we are able to allow our daughters the experience of trick or treating. It's amazing at how such a young age, they truly are in love with the entire process. Not just the eating the candy ... though that part of course is their favorite. They loved dressing up, they loved being with Mommy, Daddy, and friends. They even asked about extended family and friends that don't live near by. I guess the Halloween spirit brought out the love in them:) They loved walking around, going door to door, saying their lines (trick or treat, thank you, happy Halloween), they loved seeing the other children (the few we saw), they loved carrying their own bags (mostly Anne), they even loved being scared a little here and there, and then of course the eating of the candy.

What really bums me is the unnecessary reasons for Halloween coming to a close. Very few were walking but us. Every one was driving their children door to door. Really? We can't get out and walk a few blocks anymore? Some children weren't even dressed up. They just had on every day clothes. And this big issue of Christianity and Halloween. I never once questioned the "dark" meaning behind Halloween as a child. Why do we feel the need to turn innocent fun into a complex situation?

I know this holiday can't last forever. But I hope we can hold on to the Halloween that I grew up with for a bit longer. If not, it will just be a story that will embarrass my children in the future;)

Project 365 - Day 98

Today was so awful! My depression was so deep today, it was a challenge, to say the least, to survive the day. What brought on my depression in general, is a part of mother nature that no one wants to read about in a blog. What brought it on this day, lonely, the feeling of being completely and utterly alone. The feeling of loneliness then brings on feelings of being overwhelmed, feeling unsafe, feeling out of control. What I would give to have a connection in these times. 

Why is the depression so harsh one day more than the next, I'm not sure. It's as if since experiencing my depression, I had let something evil in. Since getting off of my medication I had not experienced any real depression until this past week. This week is proof that through times when my body is changing, I will still need to face this demon. I'm not sure what the future is going to bring for me, and quite honestly, I'm not in the mood to be overly positive about it.

I do wish I had someone near my life to share this with. Someone that I didn't have to waste my energy trying to explain this to. It's sad to have the people you love and share so much with, feel so foreign to you when it feels most urgent.  

The idea of this picture is to show the good, if not to you ... than to me. I couldn't love these girls more if I tried. I fear one of them will have to face my demon some day. I hope that fear is enough to drive me to beat this, 100%, before it clings on to one of them.

Project 365 - Day 97

We went to the fall festival today to find an empty barn and some carnival rides. Our trip was short lived, but enjoyable non the less. We got to spend a little time in the fall air and the girls got to ride one scary carnival ride. I have never been a fan of carnivals. But the older I get, I like having something different to do, and I try to find the better things to look at and experience. I don't find the rides to be one of the better qualities. I like the hay rides, seeing the barn animals (if well cared for), and the random event such as a train ride or a band playing.                 There really was no such event this day. But there were these really pretty old paintings on a barn. This one looks as if it could be a cow or a zebra. But it was a barn, so it's a cow, though some may disagree ... Rob;)

Project 365 - Day 96

During our day trips to the zoo, I don't get to see the zebra's much. They are always off in the distance. But tonight at Boo at the Zoo, they were up close and personal. Such an amazing creature! I could have stood there for hours just in awe. I have never had the honor of being so near a zebra before today. It took all of me to not jump over the wooden fence and just give her a big hug:)