As expected I am still feeling disgusting and now the girls are too. And I say as expected, because that's what happens when mom gets sick.
Being in this situation makes me see things in a different light. This place I love so much, SC, is just a place now ... nothing more. It feels just like any other place that is far from help from loved ones.
Every now and then a woman will stop me when I'm out and about with the girls. She will tell me about her children, when things seemed impossible for her, when she worried that life would never be enjoyable again ... that this was it for her. Some have shared some real heartfelt stories with me. It feels amazing to know that some woman don't just understand, they know, they lived it. Those women come to mind at times like these. They of course were women like me. Multiple children, stay at home moms, with husbands who spent most of their time making the world a better place. But they noticed me and took time out of their day to tell me a little something about how things were for them, and how they are now.
I'm sure that in a day or 10, I will have a better attitude again. But I hope to make it through all of this like those women have. And maybe someday I will see a mom of young children, a mom struggling to do it all. I hope to be brave enough to share some of these awful times to make her feel less like I feel right now, completely out of my mind.
Also, I hope that I am allowed to be overwhelmed and sick ... physically, at times of my life. I'm not always in the depths of despair or lost in depression.
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