Project 365 - Day 91

I am finding that my days are being lived moment by moment. That moment is a good one, or a bad one. Once again, I still, and probably always will, live off of my emotions. Everything that is said or done triggers a feeling that then decides what turn my day will take. At the end of the day I can end up in a daze.

My days aren't steady enough. I'm not yet sure how to change that, or if I can. I am learning that I love things that I can see and smell though. I find it simple to like or dislike an object or subject off of sight or smell. Some of those sights and smells remind me of a time. Every now and then in life I walk out of my front door and the air takes me back to a time of my life, not an event or a moment, just a time. Amazing what just a smell in the fresh air can do.

I can't keep myself surrounded by happy smells being that I live in a zoo;) But I can try to surround myself with happy sights. And one is my curtains. I can remember every place I lived that had curtains that I loved, which btw is a very slim list. But these curtains, I love. They aren't even the curtains I wanted. I had waited possibly months for the store to get in the print I wanted. I finally gave up and bought this print instead. And I'm glad I did:)

Interesting that sounds aren't as simple for me. Maybe it's normal. But a sound, even a song I love, can bring such complex feelings with it. One of the most emotional sounds in my life since I have been with Rob is the birds singing. When I hear birds chirping and singing, it almost always takes me back to when Rob and I were dating and he lived in the barracks. As I would walk back to my car in the wee hours of the morning, the birds beautiful singing and chirping would keep me company. When I hear that sound today I am taken right back to my walk to my car on Gela Street, Fort Bragg. Does that make me crazy? Probably;)